Just For You
by J.C.Hutchins
Summary: Ok, this is a weird little fic i wrote one day when i was in a really bad mood, the rating is for cussing. It's kind of a sequel to my first fic (And You THink Harry Has It Bad) and will only make minimal sense if you don't read the first one. Btw I suc


Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters or the   
wonderful world they exist in, J.K. Rowling does, I only borrow them   
for my stories.  
  
A/N: No clue where the idea for this came from, it's kind of a   
sequel to And You Think Harry Has It Bad (I really need to change that  
title). Anyway, it's what Josi is thinking a few days after Ruby   
was killed (this won't make sense unless you read the other story).  
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"Hey Josi,  
What's up for you? I'm in Divination, why did I ever take this  
stupid class… You're in Ancient Runes I think, I hope you're having a  
better time of it than I am in Divination! Anyway, remember we were   
doing conjuring in charms? Well, I used my new found knowledge to get   
these for you, I hope you enjoy them. Anyway, I guess I better get to  
the point before anybody here *senses* that I'm not paying attention.   
I just wanted to tell you that you're beautiful, and I love you.  
Love,  
Kit Allerdeck"  
  
Then on the flowers it said, "Just for you, because I love you." They   
had appeared on my bed sometime between break and the end of my Ancient  
Runes class, it was after dinnertime now and I was still crying on my   
bed. Not because of what the note said but because nobody had ever   
done anything for me because they loved me, or at least they hadn't   
told me about it. This kind of thing had bothered me more ever since,  
well, the business with my mum, NO! I'm not going to think about   
that any more, I'm was sick of waking up at night thinking about it.   
Really I had been happy with my mother, or at least I think I was,   
when my mother tried to kill me it had damaged my memory, only now,   
that I had seen my mother killed and the whole story had come out was   
I starting to remember bits of my life before I was 6 years old. Most  
of all now I remembered Ted, oh God, here it came, the memories, *… *   
"Jo, hey baby! Come see me…" God, I didn't want to remember this, but  
I did… "How's my baby today, such an angel!…" and then he always said,  
"Never do what I did…" and left. It would get worse, now, "Damm my   
mum, damm her all the way the bloody hell!" I yelled out, knowing the  
dormitory was empty, everyone else was at dinner. "Go on Josi, I   
know its early, but my meeting is tonight and you know they don't like  
you to be at the meetings go on into your room now!"… I decided it   
wasn't worth fighting, although all I really wanted was to see Ted   
before I had hide in my room for the evening. "SHIT! I don't want   
to remember this right now; I don't want to remember this ever! Why   
did that all happen to me? I wouldn't wish it on anybody, not even   
Tom, But God, why me!" I thought, pacing the room violently. I knew   
what would come next, I was starting to remember *THAT NIGHT* I wished  
I hadn't stayed up trying to watch that meeting but I had, I was going  
to remember more clearly than ever, any moment now…Ted stood up   
outraged, "My lord, she is only a child, how can she be threat to you?"  
God Ted, you bloody idiot, why did you have to protest, it could   
have been only my life taken that night, why did you have to love me….  
O.k. well, I guess someone did do something for me once before, just   
because they loved me, Ted died for me. God, I still remember  
…Voldemort turned on Ted enraged he lifted his wand aimed and calmly   
as if listing off a grocery list said "Adarvada Kadarvera", the   
killing curse. I had been secretly watching from my room and was   
terrified, I couldn't understand why my Godfather was lying on the   
floor all still like that…I was only 6, I didn't understand about   
death yet, what 6 year old does? Then we went for our *last walk* as   
I now call it, we always walked together, this would be the last time,  
I didn't know that Voldemort had told my mum to kill me, I hadn't   
been paying attention, I had been worried about what was wrong with   
Ted. We walked into an alley and then I don't remember anything for   
the next 48 hours, they say I'm lucky, or even special, like Harry   
Potter, but I know somehow, that really my mum just lost her nerve and  
didn't hit me with the full force of the curse, I have a scar though,  
right above my ear, I have a bloody scar and no mum, nice trade! God  
Damm you Voldemort! Damm you all the bloody way to "HELL!" I   
screamed that last bit, and now people were coming back from dinner,   
wondering where I was, ha-that's a laugh if only they knew. Ari came   
up, my best friend in the world, but even she can't share this with   
me, she has both her parents, I'll grant her older sister is a death   
eater and tried to kill her, but she can't understand how hard this   
is to keep reliving over and over again in my head the worst   
experience of my life…God imagine me with a dementor, I'd be a wreck.  
Here she comes now I hear her "Josi, is anything…wrong? You came up  
here after runes and I haven't seen you since, are you O.K.," God no,  
I'm not o.k. I'm going to tell her, straight out, that I'm not ok; in  
fact I'm the worst I've ever been, "No Ari! I not bloody O.K., if you  
want to know where I've been I'll tell you, I've been 10 years in the  
past, reliving the worst night of my life…no, I'm not effing alright.  
" I yell at her through the curtains around my bed…Stupid Allerdeck,  
"Just For You…" see all the trouble he's caused with his sentimental  
crap. He was there though, he saw my mum killed he heard Voldemort's  
voice call out the curse to strike her down, I remember her face,   
terrified, she knew she was about to die, she'd come to apologize to   
me for what she'd done…lovely…another idiot gets herself killed for   
my sake, thanks mum, lots of good you did me, I thought as I remembered  
what she'd said to me that day in Diagon Alley…My mum grabbed my robes  
and said in a frightened voice, "Josi! Oh my little girl! I can't   
kill you! The Dark Lord wishes it, but your my own baby, I can't do   
that! I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you! Now he's   
coming to kill us both, please go to your fath...." Suddenly there was  
a loud crack and the street was flooded with green light for a moment,   
then my mum dropped over dead! I saw her but only as if in a dream   
as she fell, her long red hair, so like my own, streaming out as she   
fell, she bright green eyes, which would never twinkle with delight   
again, open and terrified. What was her unfinished message? If it   
was go hide with you father, she can forget it, I'm going to grow up   
as a human, I'm not accepted with the centaurs any way, they don't care   
that ½ of me is them. I came straight back to Hogwarts to tell my   
father, Orion, the centaur, he of course being a centaur showed little  
emotion, but in his eyes, deep and brown you could see the pain, pain  
caused by Voldemort, it all comes back to him doesn't it, families   
and lives torn apart all for the sake of one selfish pig of a man,   
no he's not a man he doesn't deserve even that he's a just a bloody   
little sod who ruins homes, families, and lives…the bastard. Well   
I can't do much sitting up here being pissed at the world, I'll go   
down to the common room and thank Kit for the flowers, God, do you   
suppose he even realizes how amazing it is to be told something is   
"Just for you, because I love you…" never since Ted died have I gotten  
that feeling…I'll go talk to Kit, tell him everything then he'll   
understand. Before I leave the room though I will say one prayer for   
Ted, "Thank you, I know you're out there watching over me, and I hope   
you're happy now, I'm still alive and don't intend on getting myself   
killed any time soon, too many people died to keep me alive to make   
it worth throwing all that away…Thank you Ted, I love you…my godfather."  
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a/n: Well, I know it's weird, but I started writing and it just   
sort of took shape, oh well, yet again my finished product is   
totally different from what I started to write. I hope you enjoyed it  
anyway, depressing, as I know it is! Please review, all reviews are   
welcomed, even flames. Also if it didn't make a lot of sense go read   
my other story!   



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